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Essays for Therapists
Personal reflections on what it means to be a therapist, the struggles we face and how we can continue to do the important work without forgetting our own humanity.
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Letter to New Therapists
March 2026
I pulled out my mini white board and asked, “So what are your limitations?” Her eyebrows raised, “You mean like physical?”
We’d been working with one another for months, so I’m sure she suspected a challenge was around the corner.
“Sure,” I said, “Physical, mental, emotional, relational…When do you know you’ve reached your limit?” In each session she had shared experiences of saying “yes” when she wanted to say “no,” showing up for others through exhaustion and doing extra tasks at work knowing no additional pay would come with it.
“I…I don’t think I have any limitations,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I just always find a way.”
I momentarily stopped writing on the board to look up at her. It was not lost on me that this was the same client who couldn’t stick to her gym routine, didn’t prioritize her hobbies and denied herself rest.
“You are human you know,” I started. “We all have limitations, but seems like you sacrifice your humanity for the sake of others.”
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Hyper-Independence, Low Maintenance & Other Tales of Self-Reliance
February 2026
The foul smelling spit up was the final straw… or maybe a wake up call. I had given birth nine months prior and was starting to feel somewhat normal in a new body that was still not fully my own. Since the birth of my child, I had neglected most of my self-care routine and even cut my hair to avoid having to spend time maintaining it. While ignoring my personal needs, I was also dealing with (or avoiding) my business, which had still not recovered from maternity leave. And don’t get me started on Postpartum Anxiety, which was kicking my ass. As you can imagine, I wasn’t just drowning, I was sinking fast. My last nerve was lost on the day I finally found time to shower, brush my hair, put on cute clean clothes, and they were soiled by previously digested formula.
Support was available. My loving husband was present, my family eager to help, and colleagues and friends would have been more than willing to step in. But did I tap into those supports? Mostly no. I would often tell myself “I don’t need much. This is okay. I can handle it,” and then go about pushing through. The truth was I had never required much, didn’t ask for more, and learned how to always handle it on my own. Since childhood I mastered the art of making due with what I had and figuring it out.